report from thailand

Well....remember when I said that I was starting to think a 2-week vacation is a really good idea? Recent events have given me a new reason for thinking so.  You should take 2 weeks of vacation so that if you get sick-as-a-dog for 5 of them (like I've been) you won't feel so cheated out of a great vacation.  Yes, some unknown sickness has gotten the better of me here in paradise (yet another case-in-point for the reality that the best joys in this world are always mixed with sorrow). I've been fighting my darndest for joy ala Ann Voskamp. When you stop and think about it, vacation is a really great place to be sick--no cooking and cleaning, our friends have been amazing with the girls so I haven't had to keep kids entertained, Adam's been absolute super-husband-dad and has served us so cheerfully. Plus, there's a great view out the window that I've been looking out of from my prone position. And I can hear the ocean.

But more than these more Pollyanna-esque perspectives, different passages of Scripture have become much more meaningful to me through this experience. This trial has come to test my faith. To test my faith in what?

-Do I really believe that God is at work for my good in all the circumstances of my life? When I listen to the happy screams of parents and children together in the pool, my heart is aching. That seems to be good, not this. But faith is being certain of what I do no see...and somehow from His perspective, this yucky sickness, this missing out on those other good things will be better for me.

-Do I really believe that Jesus Himself is the sweetest joy? Better than physical health, enjoying my husband and children in a beautiful setting?

Don't get me wrong, none of these things has come easy for me during this. Some moments my trust is stronger than others. But I have been encouraged to see His workd in my life--that deep down, by the power of the Spirit, I really do believe that He is good, is working for my good, and I can trust Him.

That said, I really want to be well! I go back to the doctor's tonight so pray that he'll be able to tell us something helpful and give me something to help me feel better.